She said her name was "party"
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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