I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize