I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
