Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
