this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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