Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
