you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
