There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i think im in europe. pls send help
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