:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
