Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
