So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
