he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
