My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
