just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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