i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My dick has a subreddit
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
