Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?

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  (586): Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand. (1-586): What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive? http://tfl.nu/qfk1
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (985)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  oh sweet, sweet irony

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  (203): I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa (860): oh sweet, sweet irony http://tfl.nu/6x56
  Replies (24) Good night (3292) Bad night (645)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach

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  (509): woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach http://tfl.nu/ylv0
  Replies (20) Good night (1769) Bad night (816)
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  (209): View more from California

  i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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  (209): i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you http://tfl.nu/qjob
  Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (3680)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.

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  (206): Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio. http://tfl.nu/95rn
  Replies (30) Good night (6931) Bad night (1006)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!

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  (336): I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo! http://tfl.nu/ejnx
  Replies (14) Good night (3879) Bad night (601)
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  (646): View more from New York

  How are you going to be there by 9am?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Relax I always go to these conferences hung over

  (646): View more from New York

  You say that like it's a positive quality

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  (646): How are you going to be there by 9am? (919): Relax I always go to these conferences hung over (646): You say that like it's a positive quality http://tfl.nu/xfjl
  Replies (12) Good night (5010) Bad night (1105)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.

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  (330): After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant. http://tfl.nu/zp63
  Replies (28) Good night (1402) Bad night (10225)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.

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  (360): No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling. http://tfl.nu/gf5w
  Replies (11) Good night (3492) Bad night (882)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn

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  (401): The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn http://tfl.nu/nlq4
  Replies (5) Good night (2568) Bad night (1167)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"

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  (586): on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish" http://tfl.nu/8ky3
  Replies (10) Good night (2968) Bad night (1183)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight

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  (603): Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight http://tfl.nu/77hx
  Replies (4) Good night (1329) Bad night (461)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms

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  (775): I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms http://tfl.nu/bwoh
  Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (336)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  No shame in my game.

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  (701): You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills. (320): No shame in my game. http://tfl.nu/4hn7
  Replies (4) Good night (1189) Bad night (455)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.

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  (781): Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student. http://tfl.nu/i7ug
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (226)

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