this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.