Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
