Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin

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  (802): i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin http://tfl.nu/0a0z
  Replies (14) Good night (1047) Bad night (2230)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona

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  (404): your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona http://tfl.nu/j0d8
  Replies (24) Good night (813) Bad night (3393)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.

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  (615): i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time. http://tfl.nu/0k6p
  Replies (12) Good night (3815) Bad night (678)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach

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  (506): Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach http://tfl.nu/g758
  Replies (14) Good night (901) Bad night (6925)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...

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  (949): shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do... http://tfl.nu/qae9
  Replies (22) Good night (1441) Bad night (4041)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...

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  (201): So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone... http://tfl.nu/fbxy
  Replies (8) Good night (941) Bad night (2534)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.

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  (216): Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself. http://tfl.nu/3gaw
  Replies (46) Good night (2445) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.

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  (757): he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore. http://tfl.nu/szvz
  Replies (7) Good night (850) Bad night (2555)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER

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  (704): she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER http://tfl.nu/3kwv
  Replies (1) Good night (965) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god

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  (303): Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god http://tfl.nu/bdku
  Replies (13) Good night (1313) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.

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  (516): I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents. http://tfl.nu/ifal
  Replies (2) Good night (503) Bad night (1730)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.

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  (512): We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents. http://tfl.nu/1dqy
  Replies (10) Good night (1687) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.

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  (619): She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it. http://tfl.nu/d8em
  Replies (1) Good night (1024) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.

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  (713): Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better. http://tfl.nu/rcka
  Replies (4) Good night (379) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter

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  (301): he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter http://tfl.nu/j7zw
  Replies (3) Good night (172) Bad night (144)

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