Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw

  (281): View more from Texas

  I love Texas.

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  (832): Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw (281): I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/eppv
  Replies (48) Good night (4049) Bad night (582)
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  (559): View more from California

  the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.

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  (559): the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more. http://tfl.nu/a0ch
  Replies (5) Good night (887) Bad night (3503)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas

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  (251): I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas http://tfl.nu/8b13
  Replies (10) Good night (850) Bad night (3748)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

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  (727): how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian? http://tfl.nu/oazh
  Replies (42) Good night (10411) Bad night (1327)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.

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  (201): He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me. http://tfl.nu/n6mr
  Replies (12) Good night (6602) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  & he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'

  (636): View more from Missouri

  HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!

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  (636): & he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut' (636): HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!! http://tfl.nu/1ay1
  Replies (14) Good night (1433) Bad night (3250)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.

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  (972): I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night. http://tfl.nu/hauh
  Replies (8) Good night (2289) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?

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  (219): about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town? (219): yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes? http://tfl.nu/jl45
  Replies (5) Good night (2383) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?

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  (+61): i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that? http://tfl.nu/m9eq
  Replies (6) Good night (2387) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"

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  (770): After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me" http://tfl.nu/acul
  Replies (22) Good night (3509) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.

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  (813): I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free. http://tfl.nu/oqtb
  Replies (3) Good night (1101) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.

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  (928): Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating. http://tfl.nu/r7wa
  Replies (6) Good night (628) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.

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  (218): Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked. http://tfl.nu/0yg0
  Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day

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  (304): I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day http://tfl.nu/acew
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.

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  (412): Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there. http://tfl.nu/wmu1
  Replies (1) Good night (450) Bad night (156)

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