I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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