Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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