Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
