Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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