at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
