i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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