so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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