Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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