PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
