omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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