I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Operation Purity has been aborted
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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