Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
