TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
