i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
