Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
