at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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