how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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