I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
