You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You were trust falling into bushes
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I did not marry a roomba.
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