He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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