So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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