haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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