the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
