I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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