Non-Jews are for practice
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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