I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
