Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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