ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
