So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
