threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
