i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
