I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
