In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
