"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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