I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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