Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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