she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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