in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
im about as happy as oj after his trial
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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