you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
