Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
