I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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