you guys were way drunker than both of me
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
