I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Come on in and take your pants off
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
