so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
