Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I will pee on everything he values.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
