I just made out with a guy for $7.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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