If i come over, it means nothing
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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