Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
