don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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