Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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