apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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