I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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