I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
