he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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