he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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