I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
