If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
