is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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