Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
