i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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