The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
