dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
