So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
