...so i touched it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My vagina just clenched in fear
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
